So I've been having a bit of a hard time lately. MacKay's busy season is in full swing, so 95% of my time spent awake, it's just me and the kids. Then MacKay comes home he says hi to the kids as we put them to bed, then we have about an hour to see each other, then it's time for us to go to bed. Some times I want to guilt him into staying awake longer so I can see him a little bit longer, but I know that he has to get up and go to work early the next morning.
So with my days consisting of two toddlers one of which talks back like there's no tomorrow, and one who whines/cries like there is no tomorrow. How is one supposed to be kept sane I ask you? Sometimes, I would go shopping just to get out of the house with the cold weather keeping us indoors, but then I end up spending money that doesn't need to be spent, and the kids are only pleasant for so long while shopping, then they flip a switch and are freaking out until we get home again.
I'm just really not sure on how to keep myself busy to make the day past. Don't get me wrong, the kids keep me plenty busy with needing to go potty, diaper changes, preparing food for them, wipe that nose that can't seem to stop running, mediating their fights, etc... but I will go further insane (if possible) if I don't have something that keeps me busy in a good way. Something I can do with two kids that will help the day to go by faster. Any ideas?
I've tried watching TV, but by the end of the day my brain has turned to mush, there there isn't anything all that great on during daytime. (I'm not that into soaps). I used to try and scrapbook, but with the two kids, it's so difficult, that I really have to be in the mood to deal with the drama that comes with kids wanting to play with all my supplies. I've tried spending time on the computer, but, there is only so much for me to do when I only do 3 things on here... 1. Facebook, 2. check e-mails, and 3. Blog. But with a day like I live each day, I don't have much to report to a blog post everyday. And I've tried going to the gym, but Carter doesn't like to be left in the play room unless it is just him and Keely. If other people show up, he starts crying and wont stop, and I don't want him to upset the other kids, so we end up going home.
So I'm pretty board most of the time, and I find that when I'm board I eat. And not healthy I should add. So now I've resorted to chewing gum. I figure it will help me keep some many cookies from jumping into my mouth.
For a while I was just bored, but it has tunned into being lonley, not just for my husband, but for adult conversations. The kids just don't feel that void.
I haven't even mentioned this to MacKay, but I've noticed I'm starting to not want to go anywhere. I don't mind people coming over here, but I really am starting to dread having to leave to go somewhere. I am fine going into the yard for the few days of warmth we recently had, but when MacKay asked if I wanted to go out to eat I really wanted to tell him no. What is wrong with me! I would rather cook then eat out! That isn't normal.
We did end up going out, and I enjoyed not having to cook, but as soon as it was over, I wanted to go home. I didn't want to run all our other errends, I just wanted to go back to the cave that is my house. I know I need to go out into the sunsine and I feel better, but I can't control the weather, so here I sit. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?
(And just venting this and getting it out there is making me feel better to, so maybe this will help as well. Thanks for listening/reading my rant.)
7 comments:
That's definitely tough Heather, and I don't have kids yet. I think the weather certainly does help. I know I feel that way just when there isn't much sunshine. I'm not much help because I'm not in your shoes, but if I were there we could play!
Heather!!! That must be really hard. I've been depressed a little lately too (because of the earthquake.) When I'm stressed/depressed, cooking and baking help me. Maybe the kids can help you? And then, it's probably not healthy to eat them all by yourself, give some to people at church or invite friends over if you feel like it? or I would go to boise. You will have your the family, and all the fun people seem to be there lately.
my baby doesnt talk back yet, so i know that i dont know how you feel exactly. but i can imagine!
ps I love your new blog!
Heather, I totally understand how you feel. I haven't been doing good with the boys and my patience. We need to get the kids together. The boys aren't napping much anymore so it makes it so much harder for me. If you need to talk give me a call.
I feel the same way. Our town doesn't have ANYTHING inside to do for free, and that is exactly what I mean. I go to the library once a week for storytime and the rest of the week I have to come up with activities for the kids. So we set up some playdates, found a place for swimming lessons, and sometimes I take them to WalMart (the biggest place in town) so they can play with the toys. Good luck!
Oh Heather! I am so sorry. I have felt the same way here in Texas. Moving has been hard. With no friends and family around and being stuck in this tiny apartment with three kids has been tough. So I know exactly how you feel. I like the idea of starting your new "go 2 recipes". That's a great idea!
We go to the library every week and that helps break up the week. We also go to the park, of course the weather is a lot warmer here in Texas for the park. I think you are just in a tough transition right now with the kids and having MacKay gone so much. But I understand how you feel about just wanting to hibernate in doors. Motherhood is tough. I just have to keep reminding myself it's the most awarding job we could have. And you are a great mom!
You'll have me to hang out with once I'm a stay at home mom!! whenever that is :)
You just described how I feel perfectly! :) Being a stay at home mom kind of sours after a few years of caring for little ones without much recognition, especially when you feel isolated and trapped. I can't even imagine how you're dealing with it with MacKay gone so much. 5:00 is freedom time when my McKay comes home, so I think it would be so hard not to have that rescue coming at a regular time everyday. When I start to feel crazy, I've found it's because I haven't had fun in a long time. I have to do something exciting. Find whatever it is that helps you to feel like a person again! Extra points if it doesn't have anuthing to do with babies or homemaking! You were a person before the babies, and you still are a person too! And let me know if you find something that works amazingly well to keep your sanity, I could use it too!
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